To buy: Food dehydrator, Obama bumper sticker, Nazi slot car
Guys, I’m not happy with how lackluster my blogging has been over the past few months. With every passing week, I seem to get farther and farther away from the core mission of this endeavor: for me to write a lot, and for you all to have life made a little sweeter by feasting on this word degustation. I'm going to try a bit harder next week. As for this week...
I’m looking forward to purchasing a lot of products that are “As Seen On TV”. Living in a shared apartment, I’ve been too embarrassed to mail-order the items that I see on info-mercials for fear of ridicule by my roommates. But come July, when I’m moved into my new digs, I plan to acquire a Magic Bullet, a Ronco Food Dehydrator, and some pleated pants. This last item, ironically, has not actually been seen on TV for 10 years or so, but looking at my wardrobe the other day, I noticed I had a serious dearth in the pleated slacks department. I’ll tell you, it’s just like my grandmother likes to say, “If it’s not one thing, Daniel, It’s something else!”
I’m thinking of selling my Acura sedan and buying a used Porsche Boxster for the 7 months of convertible-friendly weather montreal affords us. This probably won’t happen for another year. Going through with this would be incredibly self-indulgent, selfish, and unbelievably satisfying. I love cars, love to drive, have always lusted after a Porsche, and used Boxsters are surprisingly affordable, costing less than an entry-level BMW, which is the de-facto ride (or “whip”, as the kids like to say) of yuppies and trustafarians. I am neither a yuppie or a trustafarian – or perhaps I’m both - but I do know that you can’t take it all with you when you die, so why not? Downsides to Porsche ownership? well, if you’re under-30 and driving a Porsche, even a lowly Boxster, there still aren’t any modifications available for the car to mitigate your looking like a first-class prick. Also, insurance is very expensive. Pros? It goes, turns, and stops like a Porsche. Nothing else compares. I spend about 1 hour of my day in my car. I may as well have fun with it. For the other 4-5 months of the year, I’d look into buying an older Subaru wagon. If I have cash left over, I’ll spring for a couple of NPR and “Obama in ‘08” bumper stickers to further offset the Boxster’s lack of social acceptance. Like Einstein once said, “Image is Everything.” He also went on to say, “Obey your thirst.” If you ask me, that guy was way ahead of his time.
I’m looking forward to purchasing a lot of products that are “As Seen On TV”. Living in a shared apartment, I’ve been too embarrassed to mail-order the items that I see on info-mercials for fear of ridicule by my roommates. But come July, when I’m moved into my new digs, I plan to acquire a Magic Bullet, a Ronco Food Dehydrator, and some pleated pants. This last item, ironically, has not actually been seen on TV for 10 years or so, but looking at my wardrobe the other day, I noticed I had a serious dearth in the pleated slacks department. I’ll tell you, it’s just like my grandmother likes to say, “If it’s not one thing, Daniel, It’s something else!”
I’m thinking of selling my Acura sedan and buying a used Porsche Boxster for the 7 months of convertible-friendly weather montreal affords us. This probably won’t happen for another year. Going through with this would be incredibly self-indulgent, selfish, and unbelievably satisfying. I love cars, love to drive, have always lusted after a Porsche, and used Boxsters are surprisingly affordable, costing less than an entry-level BMW, which is the de-facto ride (or “whip”, as the kids like to say) of yuppies and trustafarians. I am neither a yuppie or a trustafarian – or perhaps I’m both - but I do know that you can’t take it all with you when you die, so why not? Downsides to Porsche ownership? well, if you’re under-30 and driving a Porsche, even a lowly Boxster, there still aren’t any modifications available for the car to mitigate your looking like a first-class prick. Also, insurance is very expensive. Pros? It goes, turns, and stops like a Porsche. Nothing else compares. I spend about 1 hour of my day in my car. I may as well have fun with it. For the other 4-5 months of the year, I’d look into buying an older Subaru wagon. If I have cash left over, I’ll spring for a couple of NPR and “Obama in ‘08” bumper stickers to further offset the Boxster’s lack of social acceptance. Like Einstein once said, “Image is Everything.” He also went on to say, “Obey your thirst.” If you ask me, that guy was way ahead of his time.
posted by filthy soapbox at 12:06 PM
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