Dan kicks it in the Land of the Chosen People, Vol. III

I’m writing Volume III of this series as I sit in my aunt and uncle’s yard, with Tom, their delightful pooch, sitting at my feet. Tom is 7 years old, half German Shepherd, half Palestinian, and totally awesome. I, like you, had no idea that Palestinians had their own breed of dog. Interestingly, he was rescued from a shelter. There you have it, a Palestinian given shelter and love from a Jewish Israeli family. Tom also eats all the flowers in the yard and constantly tries to escape, but that kind of kills the analogy, so maybe disregard that. My uncle often refers to the dog as “Tembell”, which is the Hebrew word for “idiot”, I.e. “where’s the idiot now?“ But he says it with affection. Also, to be fair, the dog does seem a bit dim, but he’s happy enough - mostly because he seems, like many dogs, to be skilled at licking his genitals.

By the fourth night, the cabin fever one gets on any family vacation was beginning to set in. My mom’s constant corrections to my Hebrew and reminders to dress warmly, and inquiries as to whether or not I might need some more sunblock were beginning to take their toll. Luckily, that night I was meeting up with Craig, a Canadian buddy who was based in Tel Aviv, for a much needed night of hijinks amongst the clubs and watering holes of that city. “Craig”, whose real name, for security purposes and his insistence on maintaining a “zero online footprint“, shall not grace the pages of this blog, was halfway through a 3-year posting in Tel Aviv. There are few places more inviting than Tel Aviv for a North American single guy, and Craig seemed to be enjoying himself. The evidence of this was perfectly encapsulated by noting the entire contents of his fridge, which consisted of one bottle of beer. That said a lot, I thought. At least someone was doing it right. So we had a fun night out in Tel Aviv, club hopping and meeting the locals, and after a late night and crashing on the couch, Craig dropped me back off in suburban bliss the next morning.

Coming up in volume IV, my sister’s arrival, Jerusalem, and Druze villages…